No one is coming

2021 has been a very different year for me with lots of changes.

To start off the year, I did not get to celebrate Chinese New Year (and get all the ang pau and food) with my family for the first time. In March I moved to a new city and started a Master degree in an area that I just learnt about – a decision made within a month’s time. Prior to this I had never wanted to do any postgraduate studies because girl is so done with doing assignments. If you were telling me one year ago that I would be doing this I would be like “no thanks”. But what 2020 gave me with all the lockdowns was time to figure out what I really want in life – I guess that is one good thing I got from the year.

Moving to a new city where you do not know anyone definitely forces you to grow up and be independent. I went to the emergency room in the hospital all by myself. Juggled 500 hours of (unpaid – as you can tell I am pretty salty about this) placement, uni and two jobs at the same time, basically having no days off at all for half a year. That does not sound like much fun to most people but I cannot be prouder of myself. Because what I have really learnt from this year is taking ownership and initiative of everything I do in life. Feeling lost? Not knowing what to do? Or feeling lucky that you are just chilling while other people are working hard? Well it’s time to be your own commander. What do you want to get out of this? What is your vision? Is what you are doing now going to help you to move one step closer to your goal?

In the midst of all the endless scrolling on social media, I came across these videos of people’s daily routines with the voiceover of a self-motivation message by Mel Robbins:

“It's very, very simple to get what you want, but it's not easy. It's your job to make yourself do the crap you don't want to do, so you can be everything that you're supposed to be. And you're so damn busy waiting ‘to feel like it’. And you’re never going to – ever. No one’s coming. No one. No one’s coming to push you; no one's coming to tell you to turn the TV off; no one’s coming to tell you to get out the door and exercise; nobody’s coming to tell you to apply for that job that you've always dreamt about; nobody’s coming to write the business plan for you. It's up to you.”

I was struck dumb. By the blatant fact that we are alone daily in our own inertia. We are always waiting for someone or something to come and make us act on our behalf – to learn, to train, to push beyond our comfort zone. I was used to having someone tell me what to do and just following instructions – something that I am constantly reflecting on this year. Is this because of how I was brought up in my culture? We are always taught to be obedient that when there is no one to obey you lose your sense of direction. But the truth is, no one is coming. Every man is an island. This is your work, your learning, your life, and the most important of all – your responsibility. What you are getting out of this depends on how much effort you put into.

While this is terrifying, it is actually the best news ever. No one is coming to save us, fix us, tell us what to do. It is entirely up to us and we are in control. How liberating and empowering is that?

May I always remember this and be the owner of my path in the future years.