How to make reflection effective and useful

By: Yeeleng Goh

Reflection used to be something I dreaded in the past. During university days, we used to have these reflection sessions, after all kinds of activities: a trip to the museum, a talk by a guest lecturer, a series of team building activities, or a long day of servicing the community. Sometimes, we were required to submit a reflection report, which sometimes, would even be graded. Back then, my reflection sessions were ineffective: the reports were a pain in the ass for me, often taking me longer hours to complete them, and I had often thought that I couldn’t find any use in reflecting. It was only until my last two years in university, that I gradually got hold of a reflection process that suited me more. Looking back later, I realized that it was because I didn’t understand the assignment at that time. I didn’t know what I should think about in that reflection session or when I was writing the report.

I didn’t happen to know the effective way to ‘reflect’ all by myself. In fact, I’d like to credit my friend for the guidance to a reflection process that fits me better. During some of our meetups, especially during dinner around the end of the year, he would always have a short session to ‘conclude the year’, asking us questions such as how would we rate our year and the reasons for it. It was then I realized that just like a lot of things in life, there is no so-called ‘right’ method in doing reflection, and ultimately you should do it according to your personal preferences. While many might prefer reflecting through writing it down personally in a diary or journal, I prefer talking with a friend; Duration-wise, while some like having a 30-minute or 1-hour session to let the thoughts flow through and transform into words, I like to keep it short with my sharing within 10 minutes. And here comes the toughest part for me, the questions. With the reflective talk with my friend, I found out why I dreaded the reflection reports: I dislike admitting to my vulnerabilities. Reflections, besides highlighting strengths, also point out weaknesses. When I wrote the reports, I would sometimes try to justify the weaknesses, or even avoid mentioning them; but in the reflective sharing with my friend, I had someone there to hold me accountable and confront the problems. Discovering and understanding this last factor was also the turning point where my reflections started to lead to valuable takeaways and ‘feel useful’ to me.

So I’d say, if you feel that your recent reflections are ineffective, try changing the way you do it, write it out, talk it out, or maybe even draw it out. If you think that you seem to spend too much time on it, try starting small and do it little by little. If you don’t know what questions to ask yourself, do it with a friend, or google some questions for reference. If you know that you’d hate to face the results if you do it alone, do it with a second person - a coach, therapist, friend or even family. To all the little steps you take to improve and make your reflection sessions effective and useful. May it lead you to valuable insights and breakthroughs!