How cutting my bangs changed my perspective for 2021.

by: Yee Leng Goh

2021 is change and growth for me. This is the year where I grow out my bangs and reveal my forehead, which I had kept it concealed for 7 years; where I eventually found joy in hiking, as the sense of accomplishment takes over my fear of height; where I stepped out of my comfort zone and take up new interests; which I realized that my peers have brought positive influence upon me… this is the year where I grew to accept, be confident of, and to love myself.

I have what people often described as a “high” or “wide” forehead. Growing up, I’ve heard some comments about it being “high”, but since I got it from my mum (we have the same foreheads :D), plus there’s also this old “saying” that those with big foreheads tend to be smarter, I didn’t really give much thought about it, not until I was in secondary school, when we teenagers were all at an age that started to pay more attention to our appearance. I was still a girl without bangs when I first joined secondary school, and two years after that I decided to have bangs, and hearing all the compliments after my haircut, I decided to continue keeping them. However, the bangs were oftentimes troublesome for me as it got sticky and messy quickly under Malaysia’s heat, and though I’d often considered growing them out, it was also the compliments that kept me insecure and made me keep the bangs every time. Time flies and in a blink of an eye I was in my final year in university (with my bangs).

Though my experiences in the university helped a lot, it was also the friendships that I forged or the friends whom I gradually got close to from the past 1.5 years that had contributed greatly to my growth and change of value. I was in a dilemma in January, struggling to myself if I should cut my bangs. Usually, the same situation happens and I’d be standing in front of the mirror cutting my bangs after struggling for days. But this time, one day out of the blue, I just set my mind up and told myself not to waver anymore. The result - I’m bangless for almost a year now! Feeling confident and free, released from the sense of insecurity that I had felt all these years. Looking back, I figured I could also count as a victim of body shaming, getting mocked at my physical appearance. Though my friends meant no harm and I’ve always laughed it off, sometimes even making fun of myself, the idea that my forehead is my weakness was somehow instilled in me and kept me unconfident at my look.

There’s an old saying in Chinese, “one takes on the color of one's company”, that highlights the importance of friends and the influence from one’s peers. I’m grateful that I have been spending the year with a bunch of supportive friends who have encouraged me to be myself, and who I can be comfortable and real with. Not to mention the one who has influenced me to pick up my long forgotten reading habit, and the one who introduced me to a new realm of exciting water sports in Hong Kong, where I met friendly locals and inspiring coaches during the classes.

All in all, as the city is lucky to be free of cases for two-third of the year, 2021 has been quite an exciting year for those in the city. Who would have imagined it, among all the fun and exciting opportunities and happenings throughout the year, one would claim that her 2021 is defined by her finally growing out her bangs. Growing out one’s bangs might be a small change for one, but it’s a big step for me. To throw away the fear of being less likeable or presentable, and to finally be more confident of myself. Here’s a quote that I came across that serves as a reminder for myself, and hopefully, perhaps, it is one that can inspire you too: It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.